The Soapbox: The Man with Nerves of Steel – Cross Timbers Gazette | Denton County South | mound of flowers

“A ship is always safe on land, but that’s not what it’s built for.”-Albert Einstein

Over a year ago my son gave me a gift that we thought was a little silly for an adult, but I’ve come to appreciate it partly as a joke and partly as something meaningful . It’s nothing but a small felt letter board interchangeable with a collection of plastic letters.

We had a good laugh about it, and we both had fun posting the one saying we’re adopting as the theme of our lives for a season. I’m still tickled to see if he notices when I’ve changed the theme as he walks in and out, busy with his college social life.

Towards the end of last year, I knew that the saying of the season would simply be “The joy of the Lord is my strength”. It was all I had. I had overwhelmed myself more than ever and was struggling to get through one of the most demanding seasons of my life. Around the same time I was leaning on the joy of the Lord, a friend of mine posted something about taking risks for love. It struck me to the heart like the famous saying of Albert Einstein: “What good is a ship on land…” It was built to face the high seas! During this time I had also participated in an online survey with Pastor Mark Ballenger who pointed out that if everyone is “waiting on the Lord” then no one is actually doing anything to create community and new relationships.

At this time, I began to give myself the freedom to intentionally seek relationships not in an effort for missionary work or charity, but in search of companionship. Having been determined not to kiss frogs just for a good dinner or trade my birthright for a bowl of wild game, I decided to change my approach in order to invite new relationships into my world. This approach was called risk.

I had been risk tolerant in all areas of my life except for love in my new normal. Just shy of going to the proverbial threshing floor, I hit on the idea of ​​having dinner with new friends, Zoom Meet Ups in my study group, and sending hilarious memes that inspired a good conversation on topics relevant to the loneliest of hearts. It filled a need in my new community, and once I broke the ice, they also felt safe to share their own painful experiences.

At the same time, I revealed my experience with someone I knew and loved. It was I who made the difficult decision to stand up for my heart, my worth and my worth. It was one of the hardest life decisions I have ever made. Although I was hopeful, ultimately the relationship could never succeed without addressing some of the personal thorns this person brought into my life. I knew I couldn’t activate the stun behavior again until someone was ready to process.

Don’t think for a second that I didn’t go through withdrawal from loving someone who couldn’t love me back the way I deserved. To keep things light in my study group, I often joked that it was ridiculous that I still yearned for this relationship and that I might even be willing to accept his bad behavior if I couldn’t have than a lifetime of rubbing my fingers in his. Hair; for it reminded me of walking on the mossy green carpet under the oak trees of my youth, the kind that rose to my toes when I was barefoot in the summer. Or if things got too sad for someone, I could post a fake pic of my new tattoo of their name on my upper back, while reminding everyone that a bird on your back becomes a buzzard in the crack. Then suddenly even the silent tears of my friends seem to find a reprieve just for a moment and we had a good laugh with it. #NoRegerts.

The truth is, the joy of the Lord, US be my strength. It was all I had to keep me going. I didn’t even want to move on. I suffered terrible grief, like a lover left behind on Valentine’s Day. I wanted these issues resolved and I was powerless to make it happen. The issues were never resolved. It never happened.

On this Valentine’s Day, I know that while there will be lovers everywhere celebrating, even rekindling their love stories, mine will be left behind like countless others who suffer the heartbreak of Valentine’s Day. I took another look and realized that I had forgotten a tiny, yet very relevant part of that little verse on my bulletin board. The complete saying is: “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Perhaps that was what God wants the afflicted to know in hidden places: sorrows can be exchanged for His joy.

A dear friend who encouraged me said he would pray for that someone, because he had unknowingly lost the opportunity of a lifetime to be by his side. I admit that it was enough to dry a few tears. Being a romantic who always believes the reward is worth the risk, I knew I wanted to write my feelings about unrequited love this Valentine’s Day. I guess when your parents were having fun in 1968, they then named you Brandi (“Brandy”), and you meet a man on a mission, you just go with that for the theme of the season! Here’s to all the lovers left behind on Valentine’s Day! I don’t know if this will help you or make you wallow in grief a little more, but this poem is the second best thing to ever come out of loving the man with nerves of steel.

The man with nerves of steel

The man with nerves of steel

Can moor a ship from the sea,

Save the love of a girl like me.

His feats of bravery are great,

Can wear his best sartorial blues,

With a threat of war, so serious,

hang momthe wedding dress.

The diamond ring, her gift

And tighten the locks.

But times talk showed

From his dear mothertouch,

Heart unexplored and fortified,

Grudge without ransom, for life.

My fervent prayer implores

Yet again he sails

It’s been a thousand years

Since I saw his face.

My hopeful heart believes

Over time heI’ll be back.

Now listen to the voice of God:

red flagshigh tides in me.

This sailor has gone to the bank.

Oh man with nerves of steel

Who launched the ships into the sea,

My lonely light still shines

For your return to me!

To have this hope deferred

No more lovesickness I grew up,

Cruel pleasure of kissing

I hope Id never known.

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